*sigh* Whatever I am led to believe, I know that I am old enough to have formed my own solid principles and philophies. I am sometimes led to believe otherwise. I am sometimes tempted do so. At first, it'll feel good. It'll feel good that you are "free" of your beliefs, your principles, and your philosophies. But once you are led back to the truth (or if you were STILL on your way there if you're lucky that you haven't been slapped with the truth yet), you'll just get hurt. It'll hurt bad that it'll break your heart. Sometimes, you just gotta stop hoping. BUT you shouldn't stop hoping altogether. You should just stop hoping for those things that would distract you. You know what they are. Only YOU know what they are. Keeping your expectations up for those "fantasies" will just bring you down deep once you are shown the full force of the truth. The truth is always heavy. I am not speaking of just "one" side of my life. I am not speaking only of my faith. I am not speaking only of romantic expectations. I speak of every aspect of my life. If you think that it is you I am referring to, or if it is you that is affected, I apologize. It may not be my intention, but yet, my heart tells me it is so. I am sorry for everything. I miss my God. Long have I been without His presence. Forgive me.
