Wahahahahaha... I can't believe it... I fell for a celebrity!! Can you friggin' believe it???? I still can't... And so, with this, it ends. I hoped, but did not. I worked, but thank God it didn't work. I am now trying to set myself straight again. I don't care if people understand me or not. I don't need people to understand me. I don't even understand myself. Darn... Am I going nuts? Hahahaha...
I don't care if people see me as a weird guy or anything. One who does voice-over jobs by himself, one who TALKS to himself, one who falls for everything fiction (but kinda gets messed up when reality meets fiction)... I don't need to be mainstream. That is why I chose to be Sidestream. I DO NOT want to be mainstream. I WILL have sidestream.net. I WILL work for my goals. I WILL work for my mission. If I do not have divine guidance, then I am lost. But I will still worship Him for He is the Lord, my God. Thank you.
You gave it all for me My soul desire, my everything And all I am is devoted to You
How could I fail to see? You are the love that rescued me And all that I am is devoted to You
And how could I not be moved Lord, here with You So have Your way in me 'cause Lord, there is just one thing That I will seek
This is my cry My one desire Just to be where You are, Lord Now and Forever It's more than a song My one desire Is to be with You Is to be with You, Jesus
Love unfailing Overtaking my heart You take me in Finding peace again Fear is lost In all You are
And I would give the world to tell your story ‘Cause I know that You called me I know that You called me I’ve lost myself for good within Your promise And I won’t hide it I won’t hide it
And Jesus, I believe in You And I would go TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH For you Alone are the Son of God And all the world will see That You are God That You are God
I worship at Your throne Whisper my own love songs With all my heart I’ll sing For You, my Dad and King
I’ll live for all my days To put a smile on Your face And when we finally meet It’ll be for eternity
And oh, how wide You open up Your arms When I need Your love And how far You would come If ever I was lost You said that all You’d feel for me Is undying love That You showed me through the cross
I worship You, my God I worship You, my God I love You I love You
Forever I will sing Forever I will Be with You Be with You
First we touch and we hurt each other Then we tear our hearts apart We are too close and I can feel the pain Fill my empty heart
Is this pain too much for me? Can I stay the same? When this pain consumes my heart Will I be able to hold on to my soul?
Kindness is something I don't want or need The sunshine would just dissolve me into light Give me a pain as pleasing as your sigh So I can feel you all the day and night And keep me from fading away
Even when we behold each other Somehow our eyes do not meet And when you hold me in your strong embrace Still I feel no heat
But it gives such delight To feel you closer now I know I am true to myself Though it cuts deep into my heart somehow
"Kokoro"
Composer: Yasunori Mitsuda
Original Lyrics: Tetsuya Takahashi
Vocals: Joanne Hogg
I've been watching you a while Since you walked into my life Monday morning, when first I heard you speak to me I was too shy to let you know Much too scared to let my feelings show But you shielded me and that was the beginning
Now at last we can talk in another way And though I try, "I love you" is just so hard to say If I only could be strong, and say the words I feel
My beating heart begins to race When I turn to see your face I remember that sweet dream which you told to me I wanted just to be with you So we could make the dream come true And you smiled at me and that was the beginning
Tell me what you're thinking of Tell me if you love me now I had so much I longed to ask you But now the chance has gone While your picture fades each day In my heart, the memory stays Glowing bright, you're always smiling And I will hold it close
Wow. So many good things have been happening with the CultureJam party/Sidestream guild in Ragnarok. While working on Kingdom Hearts just now, I heard music from Capcom VS SNK. I've been hearing music from the game for quite some time now. But this is different. While hearing the "Chun-Li VS Mai" track from the CVS album, I suddenly felt the urge to power up my Dreamcast and play the game. I want to do so many things but I am only capable of doing a number of things at a time. I also haven't finished watching the DVD I was watching a while ago. =) Shucks... Princess Fei...
I am deeply grateful to my God that He is able to break my heart to heal it to a healthier state. I am now broken. My pride has been lowered to a level that I am human again.
I know now that some things are sent your way to shatter your current focus and priorities. After one's current line of sight is broken, one can then fix his vision to a more appropriate level. It's just like changing eyeglasses after a few years. You didn't know that your eyes' grades have increased, because you're already very used to your glasses that you don't know that your vision is kinda blurred. After changing eyeglasses, you realize that your grade is higher. And after wearing your new glasses, you can see clearer than before you changed your glasses.
It also applies with life's priorities and tasks. The Lord smashed my glasses this time. (If you ask my wushu teammates, it happened literally).
OMG!! Princess Fei is SO CUTE!! Princess Fei of pRO... With all due respect to Valerie... She's just admirable in that picture. I think I'll post an entry in pRO Sidestream's gallery.
Anyway, enough of that. What does reputation do to a person? What does it give a person? Why is reputation a big deal to many people (or should it be the case with all of us?)? We can't make reputation, we can't force people to think specifically about our reputation, and we certainly can't eat it.
I was just browsing our high school batch reunion SJCS '99 (the one that I missed, or would have intentionally missed if I had the chance anyway) album, and I saw them. My classmates from way back high school. Where is he/she? What is he/she doing right now? How is he/she doing? Intelligent, genius, geek, flirt, bum, scum, varsity material, chick, looker, angel, or just plain cool...
I wonder... In high school, I was a geek (or so I think that's what people thought of me). And then I slowly changed to a "sound man" (one who specializes in audio jobs). And then during the first years of college, I turned into a DJ (one who spins/plays music for people). And then I turned into a DJ (one who mixes music and/or does voice-over jobs). And now I'm in wushu and STILL a music-mixer. I like it. But I can't help but think what people thought of me, or still think of me. But will I be able to benefit by how they think of me? Will it hurt me? Will it feed me?
Again, with all due respect to Valerie, she is fantastically cute in that picture. If anyone close to her is reading this blog entry, please ignore this or just throw it away. That admiration has got nowhere to go. And this post is not meant for offense or anything. So Val, no offense (I really don't think there is anything offensive in this post). The intro and outro of this post was just meant to admire your picture in Philippine Ragnarok Online's Amatsu & Kunlun patch promo. =)
